Meet the Sunrise

The healing power of setting foot in a counselor's office...it's a thing.

A client and I were recently wondering "Is there a name for this?" I don't recall learning about it in school, or reading research about it. I don't recall a textbook definition of one word that sums it up. 

"Just by coming here today, I feel a relief."

Then, it happened again. Another client said, after several weeks of appointments and lots of therapeutic work, that the most powerful part of counseling was the decision to come and to keep coming back.  A few weeks later, I hear the sentiment again in an initial session with a client who said, "Just by coming here today, I feel a relief." In these statements, I hear a common human experience. To have actively sought help, to have made the call or sent the email, to have set up the appointment, and then finally to have stepped foot in the door...these actions improve our emotional landscape. 

I like metaphors. They are helpful in giving us new perspectives on old material. So for instance, we may have an idea of what counseling is about. We may have an idea that it's for people who are broken, for people in crisis, for people who are severely mentally ill, or that it's an absolute last resort when nothing else works. These ideas are powerful, negative, and extreme. They seem to discourage taking that first step.

But what if we create new ideas about the reasons that people would seek counseling? What if we think about counseling as a sunrise and the dawning of a new day? Let's imagine the last time we couldn't sleep at night...how frustrating it is not getting the sleep we want, worrying about what will happen the next day if we don't sleep. Then we imagine ourselves putting our insomnia to work for us. Maybe we walk to the kitchen and make a cup of tea and sit with ourselves and reflect. Maybe we take a hot bath to calm our nerves. Maybe we massage our hands or temples to create ease. All of these steps are actions that make a difference in our insomnia. We greet a new morning, perhaps not with a great night's sleep, but with a sense that we cared for ourselves through the process.

Likewise, the steps toward seeking out counseling are actions of self-care. They are messages to ourselves that we are worth it, that a new day can dawn, and that we can connect to another human being even in the midst of pain. Pain has a purpose in this way. It can bring us closer to others, to what we seek, and to our true nature. 

Carl Rogers believed, and research has shown, that the most powerful predictor of change through counseling is the strength of the therapeutic relationship. The connection to another human being is the substance of change and hope. The permission one grants themselves in arranging the words of their story and sharing them with another person with the intent to make change...this is the mechanism by which counseling works. This is the way that new perspectives, new beginnings, and new sunrises are born. The first step is the one through the door to the counselor's office. (Research shows also that this step can be In real life or virtually. Both work equally well.)

My responsibility as a counselor is to continually invite these moments to occur and to meet each person and each story with unconditional positive regard, empathy, and honesty. The dawning of a new day is a brilliant display.

Take your first step and speak to a counselor today.